Bridge Etiquette: Table Manners, Alerting, and How to Be a Good Partner
Bridge has rules. Then it has etiquette. The rules tell you what’s legal. Etiquette tells you what’s done.
You can follow every rule and still be the person nobody wants to play with. Or you can make technical mistakes but be welcome at any table because you know how to behave.
Here’s what actually matters when you sit down to play.
The Cardinal Rule: Tempo
Tempo means the pace of your actions. Fast, slow, hesitation, quick bid. Tempo gives information, and in bridge, giving unauthorized information is the biggest sin.
What tempo violations look like:
You hold ♠KQ874 ♥A3 ♦652 ♣K94. Partner opens 1♥. You think for 20 seconds, then bid 1♠.
Your partner now knows you have a decision. Maybe you were considering whether to bid 1♠ or 2♠. Maybe you were thinking about whether you had enough for a game force. Whatever you were thinking, your tempo told partner something.
The etiquette rule: Think before it’s your turn. Once it’s your turn, act at a consistent pace. If you need to think, fine. But then if you have an easy bid later, slow down to match your thinking tempo. Don’t give partner fast-vs-slow information.
What to do if you break tempo:
You can’t unring the bell. If you hesitated and then bid, your partner is ethically bound to ignore the hesitation. At a club game, nobody will say anything. At a tournament, if the auction goes sideways, the director might adjust the score.
Don’t announce “Sorry, I broke tempo there.” Just play the hand and try to do better next time.
Alerting: When and How
When you or your partner make a conventional bid (something that doesn’t mean what it sounds like), the other member of the partnership alerts the opponents.
Common bids that require alerts:
- Stayman (2♣ after 1NT) - Actually, no. Stayman is so common it doesn’t require an alert anymore in ACBL games.
- Jacoby Transfer (2♦ to show hearts) - Yes, alert this.
- Strong 2♣ (showing 22+ points) - No alert needed, but you must pre-announce at the start “We play strong two clubs.”
- Weak 2 bids in hearts, spades, diamonds - Pre-announce “We play weak twos.”
- Fourth suit forcing - Yes, alert.
- Unusual 2NT - Yes, alert.
- Any conventional double (negative, responsive, etc.) - Yes, alert.
How to alert in person:
Your partner bids 2♦ (transfer to hearts). You tap the table or say “Alert.” When an opponent asks, you explain: “Transfer to hearts.”
You don’t explain until asked. You don’t explain if the opponents don’t ask. And you don’t explain your own bids. Your partner explains yours, you explain theirs.
How to alert online:
On BBO, click the Alert button when making the bid. Type a brief explanation. “Transfer” or “Asking for aces” is enough. Don’t write an essay.
What happens if you forget to alert:
Tell the director before the next lead. They’ll tell the opponents what the bid meant and might adjust the score if it affected the result. Forgetting to alert is a mistake, not cheating. Just own it and move on.
The self-alert rule:
You can’t alert your own bid. If you do, you’re essentially telling partner “Hey, remember that convention we play?” That’s unauthorized information. Let your partner alert or not alert, and deal with the consequences.
Things That Are Actually Rude
During the Auction
Commenting on the auction while it’s happening “Well, that’s interesting” or “Really?” or even just “Hmm.” Zip it. Your partner can hear you.
Making faces Partner opens a weak 2♠ and you have ♠AKQ. Your face says “I love this.” That’s information. Control your face.
Asking unnecessary questions If partner bids 1NT and you’re about to pass, don’t ask about their point range. You’re not going to act on the information, so asking just gives partner information about your hand.
During the Play
Pulling your card early Wait until it’s your turn. If you start to pull a card when partner’s on lead, you’re telling partner something about what you want led.
Stating the obvious “That’s the fourth club” or “That’s high.” Your partner has eyes. Commenting helps them more than necessary.
Detaching cards Don’t grab a card from your hand and hold it separately before playing it. Play it when it’s your turn, not three seconds before.
Asking “No hearts?” when someone ruffs They just ruffed. Obviously they’re out. Asking confirms for partner that they’re out. Don’t do it.
After the Hand
Criticizing partner at the table The hand’s over, you went down in a cold contract because partner led from AKQ instead of J432, and you want to scream.
Don’t.
Say “Interesting hand” and move on. If you must discuss it, do so away from the table, quietly, and frame it as a question: “Would a different lead have worked better?”
Apologizing profusely “Sorry, sorry, I’m so sorry” after every mistake gets old. One “Sorry, partner” is fine. Dwelling on it just makes it worse.
Claiming credit “I made that one!” Yeah, we noticed. Let the score speak for itself.
Asking to see previous tricks You can ask to see the last trick. You can’t ask to see tricks from earlier in the hand after cards have been played to the next trick. Once you play to a new trick, the old one is locked.
Opponents’ Etiquette Rights
You have the right to:
- Ask about any bid at your turn
- Ask about the opponents’ methods before the opening lead
- Call the director if something seems wrong
- Expect proper alerts
You do not have the right to:
- Complain about their bidding system
- Tell them they played badly
- Coach your partner at the table
- Deliberately slow-play to rattle them
Bridge is adversarial, but it’s civil. You’re trying to beat the opponents, not humiliate them.
The Partner Code
This is the real etiquette. Everything else is just table manners. Your partnership only works if you follow these rules.
What Good Partners Do
Assume competence Partner made a weird bid? Maybe they have a reason. Maybe they know something you don’t. Ask later, assume good intent now.
Take responsibility The hand went badly. Maybe it was their fault, maybe it was yours. Doesn’t matter. You’re a team. “Tough hand” is the right response.
Discuss constructively “I think 3NT might have been safer than 5♣, what do you think?” Not: “Why would you bid 5♣?”
Stay calm Your partner just bid 7NT with 18 combined points and no source of tricks. Breathe. Finish the session. Talk about it later if you must, but not in anger.
Respect the partnership agreement You agreed to play weak jump shifts. Partner makes a weak jump shift. Don’t act surprised. If you want to change the agreement, do it between sessions.
What Bad Partners Do
The post-mortem lecture “Okay so first, you should have opened 1♦ not 1♣. Second, when I bid 2NT you should have known I had exactly 11 points. Third…”
Stop. Just stop.
The sigh Partner makes their bid, you sigh loudly. Congratulations, you just told the whole table you don’t like it.
The question-as-criticism “Did you have a reason for leading that?” You know they didn’t. You’re just rubbing it in.
The comparison “My regular partner would never bid like that.” Then go play with them.
The strategy session “Okay, from now on when I bid 2♣ after they’ve opened, that’s Michaels, not natural. Got it?”
This is not the time. Agree on system before the session starts, not during it.
Phone and Device Etiquette
Put your phone on silent. Not vibrate. Silent.
If you must check your phone, step away from the table. Do it between rounds, not during a hand.
Never:
- Take a call at the table
- Text during the auction
- Look up a convention mid-hand
- Take photos of the hand in play (unless everyone agrees)
The bridge table is a phone-free zone for 3-4 hours. If that’s not possible, don’t play that session.
When Someone Breaks Etiquette
If an opponent does it:
Minor issue? Ignore it. They pulled a card early, they hesitated, they made a face. It happens.
Major issue? Call the director. Don’t try to litigate it yourself. That’s what directors are for.
The phrase is: “Director, please.” They come over, you explain the situation, they make a ruling. No yelling, no arguing.
If your partner does it:
Tell them later, away from the table, framed as a suggestion. “Hey, I noticed you sometimes comment during the auction. Might want to watch that.”
Don’t correct them at the table. That’s embarrassing and unhelpful.
If you do it:
Apologize if appropriate. Don’t dwell on it. Learn from it. Move on.
Nobody’s etiquette is perfect. The goal is to be better this session than last session.
The Stuff Nobody Tells You
Bidding boxes At clubs with bidding boxes, pull the card, place it on the table in front of you, leave your hand on it briefly. Don’t fling it into the middle. Don’t hover it. Clean, clear placement.
Saying “Pass” Some clubs still say “Pass” aloud. Some use bidding boxes silently. Match what everyone else does.
End of hand When dummy’s last card is played, don’t grab your cards back immediately. Let everyone see the final trick. Then gather them up.
Refreshments If the club has snacks, don’t bring a full meal to the table. Coffee and cookies are fine. A burrito is not.
Kibitzers (watchers) If someone’s watching your game, they get zero input. They don’t point out mistakes, they don’t gasp at bids, they’re invisible. If a kibitzer breaks this rule, the director will remove them.
The Social Game Within the Game
Bridge has an interesting dynamic. You’re competing, but you’re also part of a community. The person you beat today might be your partner next week.
This means:
- Be gracious in victory (don’t gloat)
- Be gracious in defeat (don’t sulk)
- Help beginners when asked
- Welcome newcomers
- Don’t make the game unpleasant for others
Bridge survives because people want to keep playing. If you make it miserable, people quit. If you make it fun, the game thrives.
How to Recover from Etiquette Mistakes
You will mess up. You’ll comment on a hand, you’ll forget to alert, you’ll criticize your partner in the heat of the moment.
The fix:
- Acknowledge it (briefly)
- Apologize if appropriate (quickly)
- Do better next time
Don’t spiral. Don’t write an apology email. Don’t avoid bridge for three weeks. Just show up to the next game and be better.
The bridge community has seen every mistake possible. Yours isn’t special. What matters is whether you learn from it.
Final Word
Etiquette exists to make the game fair and pleasant. It’s not about being fancy or formal. It’s about:
- Not giving partner unauthorized information
- Not being a jerk to opponents
- Not making your partner wish they’d stayed home
Follow those three principles and you’ll be welcome at any table.
Welcome or not, you’ll be a better bridge player for it.